Ending an affair takes time, and one of the prominent difficulties of getting out of an affair is the temptation of wanting to get back into it at the very first opportunity. It is an easy way out, after all.
Even the best of us can go astray and tread into the wrong path. Are you ready to walk away from an affair? Find out how to end an affair and get over it.
How to end an affair depends on how complicated the circumstances surrounding the affair are. It also depends on the circumstances of your affair. Besides a mutual attraction, what drew you to each other? What promises, if any, did you make to one another? What did you both expect to get out of the affair?
Having a Fling
If you both were just looking for a little fun, with no commitments, no strings attached, and no significant others at home, then it’s a lot easier to end this kind of affair. If you’ve communicated and understood each other’s intentions from the start, there’s a good chance parting ways will be amicable.
However, if communication wasn’t something you focused on during the affair, one of you could end up feeling hurt and rejected. Tread lightly. Let the other person know that the sexual part of your relationship is coming to an end, if you want to remain friends. But if you no longer want any contact with this person, just make it clear that what you shared was fleeting.
Experimenting With Polyamory
At some point in their lives, many people are comfortable having an open, sexual relationship. Perhaps you are exploring the polyamorous lifestyle, or you don’t feel like being in a monogamous relationship. Whatever the reason, there may come a time when you want to be monogamous or perhaps you want to be single for a while.
When it’s time to end this kind of relationship, explain that you are in the process of discovering your sexuality, or that your tastes in and desires for companionship have changed. Express your appreciation to them for being a part of your sexual journey and helping you discover your sexuality.
Sleeping With a Coworker
First, let’s hope that your coworker is not a subordinate or you theirs. If you see them regularly, you need to be kind and compassionate. You need to discuss, like adults, how you’ll handle work interactions going forward.
How will you handle projects and presentations? How will you handle conferences and business trips? If you’ve had an affair with your boss, or someone who reports to you, you want to do everything you can to settle things amicably. If you have to get human resources involved, both your jobs could be at stake.
Cheating on a Partner
If one or both of you are in a committed relationship, you have to know what kind of risk you’re taking. All relationships have their ups and downs and you or both of you have stepped outside your relationship to find comfort and more elsewhere. It comes down to this: Either you leave your partners and get together or end the affair.
If you’ve chosen to end the affair, you need to treat each other with dignity and respect. First, deal with your lover’s feelings, but at the same time, be clear that the affair is coming to an end. Don’t waver. No matter how they beg or plead, and no matter how great the sex is, if you’ve made the decision to end things, do it.
My Best Friend’s Partner
If you’ve ever lusted after a friend’s partner, you can see how these types of affairs take off. But, if you ultimately think your friendship is too valuable to ruin, you should end things with their partner. You also need to consider what could happen when the three of you share space again.
Honesty
After ending an affair, some people feel a strong need to be honest with their partners and tell them they’ve cheated. But before you confess, consider why you’re doing it. Are you doing it to unburden yourself, or are you doing it because you think your partner has the right to know and you would want to know if the situation were reversed?
No matter you motivations, your partner is going to be very hurt. You’ve broken the trust in your relationship, and if your partner still wants to be with you after you’ve confessed your affair, it’s going to take a long time to get that trust back.
The Wrong Kind of Love
Consider why you’ve had an affair in the first place, or why you prefer to have casual flings with people. Are you getting the love you really want? Do you think you don’t deserve a commitment? No matter the reason, when you’re ready to end an affair, do it with compassion, respect, and kindness. And be practical about how your lives with intersect (if at all) going forward.