Did they tell you that they would change and do better the next time but still the same? How many times did he or she break his or her promises? For how long have you been hoping that your relationship will get better? Relationships spur so many worries and bring to mind so many questions and all we want are answers and sometimes there are no answers. Sometimes, the answer is already right in front of you but, we opt to not see it because it is not what we want.
Hoping for Change
How often we hope and pray for change with the one we love. They tell us they will call, we wait, and nothing happens. They say they care about us; we hope and no call. They say, “I will see you tonight.” We get ready, a no show. They say all the right things, but nothing happens. Sound familiar?
Do you constantly find yourself hoping they will call, hoping you will see them, hoping they will change, when in fact all they do is make promises and say so much with so little action. Each time they do this, you lose a piece of you. Pretty soon there is nothing left of you, and nothing left of them. You waited. They moved on. You are sad and depressed. They found someone new.
Wait for Action, Not Words
Is this right? Regardless of if it is right or wrong. You must stop and watch their words while listening to their words. If a man says he loves you but never does anything, that is not love. A man will show you he loves you. He will show you through action just how much he really cares about you. A woman will do the same thing. She will show you with action. Action will always speak louder than words.
Have Things Changed?
Imagine that the person of interest finally comes around after years of emotional letdown. You finally have them back in your life. You waited all this time. Now what? Have things changed? Are you more important to them? You could go through a lifetime of sadness, letting life pass you by, waiting for them to change.
Yes, I realize these words may cause pain. But what if I am saving you from a lifetime of unhappiness. What if I am giving you your life back?
Stop Making Excuses
Do not make excuses or enable the other party not to participate in a healthy relationship. Do not wait by the phone, instead, heal yourself and take back your life that you gave away. Always remember, people change when you change, but that change must come from within. You must be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone.
False Promises
And, if you find yourself in a situation where false promises are made, hopes are raised, and tears fall, just ask yourself,” Why am I doing this to me?” Then make a choice to be happy and take action to make it happen. As you see, it takes action to make things happen. It takes commitment to make a change. Combine both and you will be able to watch someone’s words by listening to their actions.
Speaking the Truth
Often the courage to just speak the truth is hard to muster so promises are made that will never be kept. It’s hurtful, deceitful, and unmerciful. And let’s face it, just downright cowardly. It would be so much easier if they just said the words that matched their actions. A lot of time and heartache may have been saved.
Simple is Better
I always say, “Keep it simple” and “do not give yourself a hard time,” when it comes to anything in life. The simpler, the better I believe. If only more of us employed these two tactics when it came to relationships, we would save ourselves a whole lot of time and grief.
Actions are the Real Truth
You not only have to listen to what is being said but pay attention to what is being done. Actions are the real truth. In regard to any relationship, “watch their words and listen to their actions.” If someone is saying it and they are not doing what they say, you have your answer. Simple, the proof is in the pudding.
Ah, the eternal dance of empty promises and dashed hopes. What a delightful exercise in futility. Isn’t it amusing how we humans cling to words, expecting miracles from the undependable?
This is just another one of those oversimplified self-help articles. If it were that easy to change relationships, no one would be struggling.
Drake, while I understand your frustration, sometimes these ‘oversimplified’ insights can act as catalysts for more profound change. It’s about taking the first step.
Finally, someone put into words what many of us live through daily. It’s like this article was written for me. Your message of focusing on actions rather than words is an enlightening revelation. Thank you for giving me the strength to move forward.
The writer makes an excellent point about promises and actions. In a psychological context, this aligns with cognitive dissonance, where there is a disconnect between what one says and what one does. It’s a valuable lesson.
Oh great, another ‘words vs. actions’ lecture. As if people who are emotionally invested can just snap out of it and move on. Thanks for the groundbreaking advice—note the sarcasm.