Abuse Is About Power, Control and Harm
An abusive relationship may involve physical violence, threats, sexual coercion, humiliation, isolation, financial control, stalking or digital monitoring. Abuse can happen to people of any gender, sexuality, age, culture or income level.
You are not responsible for another person’s abusive behavior. You do not need a psychic reading, perfect evidence or anyone else’s permission to take your concerns seriously.
Get Help Now When You Are in Danger
If you are in immediate danger or someone has been seriously injured, call emergency services when it is safe to do so.
United States: contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788 or use its live chat. The Hotline also provides digital-safety guidance and personalized safety-planning support.
If your phone or internet activity may be monitored, use a safer device when possible and consider clearing browsing history only when doing so will not increase risk.
A Healthy Relationship
Both people can say no, maintain friendships, access money, make choices, express disagreement and feel physically and emotionally safe.
An Abusive Pattern
One person uses fear, force, surveillance, humiliation, isolation or control to limit the other person’s choices and independence.
Forms of Relationship Abuse
Physical Abuse
Hitting, pushing, choking, restraining, blocking exits, throwing objects, reckless driving, using weapons, withholding medication or harming pets are examples of physical abuse.
Emotional and Verbal Abuse
Repeated insults, humiliation, intimidation, threats, gaslighting, blame, deliberate sleep disruption and attacks on a person’s identity or parenting can cause serious harm.
Sexual Abuse and Reproductive Coercion
Consent is required in every relationship, including marriage. Pressuring or forcing sexual activity, sabotaging contraception, controlling pregnancy decisions or sharing intimate material without permission are abusive behaviors.
Financial Abuse
Examples include taking earnings, preventing work or education, creating debt in another person’s name, withholding necessities or demanding detailed justification for every purchase.
Digital Abuse and Stalking
Reading messages without permission, tracking location, demanding passwords, impersonating someone online, installing surveillance software, persistent unwanted contact or threatening to publish private information can be abusive.
Warning Signs of Coercive Control
- You change your behavior to avoid the person’s anger or punishment.
- They isolate you from friends, family, work, school or community.
- They monitor where you go, who you speak with or how long activities take.
- They threaten you, themselves, children, pets, property or immigration status.
- They control money, transportation, medication, identification or communication.
- They alternate mistreatment with apologies, gifts or promises that the pattern will stop.
- They blame alcohol, stress, jealousy, trauma or you for their actions.
- They pressure you to keep the relationship or abuse secret.
- They use spiritual claims, curses, destiny or “soulmate” language to justify control.
One incident can be serious. A repeated pattern of control is especially concerning even when physical violence has not occurred.
Safety Planning Is Personal
Leaving can be the safest choice, but the period before, during or after separation may also increase danger. A trained advocate can help develop a plan based on the person’s circumstances rather than pressuring them into a single action.
- Identify one or two people who can be contacted safely.
- Choose possible safe places and routes out of the home.
- Keep essential documents, medication, keys and emergency money accessible when safe.
- Create a code word for trusted people to call for help.
- Review device, account and location-sharing settings from a safer device.
- Document injuries, threats or damaged property only when doing so is safe.
- Ask an advocate about children, pets, housing, immigration, workplace and legal concerns.
- Call emergency services when there is immediate danger.
Do not confront an abusive person with an online checklist or announce a plan to leave when doing so may increase danger.
How to Support Someone Else
- Believe them and listen without blame.
- Ask what would feel useful rather than taking control of the decision.
- Do not contact or threaten the abusive partner.
- Offer practical help such as transport, document storage, childcare or a safe phone.
- Respect confidentiality unless immediate safety requires emergency help.
- Continue support even if the person returns to or remains in the relationship.
Psychic and Spiritual Guidance Cannot Determine Safety
A psychic should not tell someone to remain with an abusive partner because of a soulmate, twin-flame, karmic or past-life claim. A reading cannot assess the danger of violence or replace a domestic-violence advocate, clinician, lawyer or emergency service.
For related non-emergency relationship education, see our guides to recognizing toxic behavior and breaking cycles of shame and fear.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What is an abusive relationship?
It is a relationship in which one person uses violence, threats, coercion, surveillance, humiliation or control to harm or limit the other person.
2. Can a relationship be abusive without physical violence?
Yes. Emotional, sexual, financial, digital and coercive-control behaviors can be abusive even when no one has been hit.
3. Is one violent incident abuse?
One incident can be serious and dangerous. You do not need to wait for a repeated pattern before seeking support.
4. Is jealousy a sign of love?
Jealousy is an emotion, but monitoring, accusations, isolation or punishment are not healthy expressions of love.
5. Is checking a partner’s phone abuse?
Demanding access, secretly monitoring accounts or using information to control and intimidate can be digital abuse.
6. Can abuse happen in same-sex relationships?
Yes. Abuse can occur in any relationship and may include threats involving outing, identity, community or access to support.
7. Can men experience domestic abuse?
Yes. People of any gender can experience abuse and deserve appropriate support.
8. Is forced sex within marriage abuse?
Yes. Marriage or a committed relationship does not remove the requirement for consent.
9. Why do people stay in abusive relationships?
Reasons may include danger, financial control, children, housing, immigration concerns, isolation, disability, threats, love or hope for change. Staying does not make the abuse their fault.
10. Is it always safest to leave immediately?
Not necessarily. Separation can increase risk in some situations. A confidential advocate can help create a personalized safety plan.
11. Should I confront an abusive partner?
Confrontation can increase danger. Seek confidential guidance and plan around safety first.
12. How can I document abuse safely?
When safe, records may include dates, messages, photographs, medical documentation or reports stored somewhere the abusive person cannot access.
13. Can an abusive partner change?
Change requires sustained accountability and specialized intervention. Promises, apologies or short calm periods do not by themselves show that abuse has ended.
14. Can a psychic tell me whether my partner is dangerous?
No. Risk assessment should come from trained domestic-violence, legal, medical or emergency professionals.
15. What should I do in an immediate emergency?
Move toward safety when possible and call emergency services. In the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline can also help with safety planning.
Support and Editorial Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Get Help
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Plan for Safety
Expert Psychics Editorial Policy
This article provides general education and cannot assess an individual emergency or legal situation.
Last safety-reviewed for general information: August 18, 2026.
Oh great, another sermon on relationships gone wrong. Isn’t it obvious that if someone treats you like garbage, you should just leave? Easier said than done, maybe, but still. Captain Obvious to the rescue.
The article highlights the multifaceted nature of abuse, which is often overlooked. The psychological aspects are particularly enlightening. It’s crucial for victims to understand the subtle progression of such toxic behaviors.
While the article provides useful information, it lacks depth in some areas. More emphasis on practical steps to take when one identifies as being in an abusive relationship would have been beneficial.
This article really sheds light on the grim realities of abusive relationships. It’s vital information that everyone should be aware of. Kudos to the author for addressing such an important topic.
Wow, who knew relationships could be so much fun? ‘Hey honey, don’t forget to monitor my phone and accuse me of cheating today!’ Seriously though, this is important stuff, but man, what a bummer.