We’ve all experienced jealousy in some form at some time or another. Of course, a little jealousy can be a healthy thing. But it’s when that jealousy takes over your life and consumes your relationship that it can turn into something toxic. Jealousy can rear its ugly head when you’re so afraid of losing the one you love, that it takes over your life through lack of confidence, insecurity, and the need to control and know about everything your loved one does. As the jealousy grows and grows, your relationship becomes less and less trusting and eventually your worst fear can come true…you’ll lose the one you love. So, it’s very important to learn to control your jealousy and harness it in. Not only that, but you have to trust in your loved one first and foremost.
So, what exactly is jealousy? It’s a natural emotion and a survival instinct we use to justify when feeling insecure or not confident. Jealousy may be triggered by a variety of things, but is most likely to pop up in romantic relationships. However, jealousy can spring up at any time in our daily interactions with other people, from being jealous of a co-worker’s promotion to feeling jealousy over a friend’s successful weight loss or makeover. The point is that jealousy can occur at just about any time, it’s what you do with it and how you either tame it or let it overcome you that can make the difference.
Jealousy can show itself in a number of ways, but some of the major ways it presents itself is through lack of trust, control, and accusations or intimidating behavior. Lack of trust comes into play when you find yourself always questioning your loved one’s whereabouts and things such as text messages and phone calls. You may even resort to following them or asking their friends or co-workers what they’ve been up to or where they go. The control part of jealous presents itself when you feel the need to control everything your partner does and where they go so that they won’t be inclined to run into whomever it is you may be jealous of. And then accusations or intimidating behavior means that you’re constantly accusing your loved one of doing something you’re not happy with or intimidating them by using threats to keep them trapped in the relationship. No matter the jealousy tactic, each one can lead to deep rifts between you and your partner.
One of the key components to overcoming jealousy is to be aware that you’re having a problem with feeling jealous in the first place. Acknowledging the jealousy will allow you to ascertain what the triggers of your jealousy are so that you can address them and hopefully put that jealousy to rest. In facing the triggers of your jealousy, you may also come to realize that it’s not even your actual current partner that’s been the focus of your jealous. Perhaps you’ve been dragging up old wounds from previous relationships that caused them to end, making your project that hurt onto your current relationship. In being able to face that situation, you’ll be able to work on your jealousy issues and hopefully eventually cast them aside so that you’re able to have a healthy, jealousy-free relationship with your current partner.
The most important thing to remember is to be aware of what’s triggering your jealousy. Then you’ll be able to examine why you’re feeling the way you are so that you can work on boosting your confidence in not only yourself, but your partner as well.