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Secret Unfold: Fears Of A Man

Men generally seem to be tough, strong and reliable.  Of course they do! This is how they like to portray themselves, but underneath that stoic mask, there are many hidden fears.

This fear manifests itself as worry.

This worry can be categorized as medical, failings, self confidence and immortality.

Here are a few ways you can deal with these worries.

MEDICAL

Doctors –While many people fear doctors, a high percentage of men do not go to the doctor, avoiding aches and pains under the guise of remaining strong and “manly”.  However, statistics sho that a high percentage of cancer deaths are due to a failure to consult a doctor at the first hint of trouble.

Prostate – One of the main medical problems associated with being male is prostate issues.  However  this is also an area that men are particularly phobic about. This phobia may keep men from undergoing regular prostate exams.

Vasectomy – Men have a tendency to overcompensate for a fear of losing their virility. Thus, they are afraid of undergoing a vasectomy and would much prefer having their partner bear the brunt of permanent birth control, even though the procedure is much more invasive for women than its counterpart is for men.

Erectile Dysfunction – Related to this fear of lost virility, men are extremely afraid of losing their ability to maintain and achieve an erection.  While this is a very small part of being a man, most men connect their image of youth  and manhood with their ability to have sex.  They see a man who cannot perform sexually as being less than a man.

What to do: An unfortunate fact of life is that men don’t like to talk about what bothers them.  If you suspect that your partner has medical worries, be supportive and show that you care about him.  Be read and willing to listen to him when/if he is ready to talk. He will feel more confident if he knows you are always in his corner.

FAILURE

Relationships – At the beginning of a new romance, men tend to fear commitment.  They fear many things, the loss of their freedom, the loss of their personal space and the loss of variety in their sex lives.  Once they make a commitment, they are afraid of failing to maintain that relationship.

Failure in the bedroom. – Many men are afraid of the inability to perform in the boudoir.  No man wants it known that they fail in sensuality. Men really do want to please their partner.

Drive to be the best – It is well known that men are competitive, particular when comes to sports and sex. They want to be the absolute best their love has ever been with.

A new fear; rating high on Google – With changes in  technology happening all around us, men are now worrying about how to rate highly on Google. This new arena brings new challenges.

How to Help – The best way to help a man is to make sure he feels secure with you.  A way to do this is to tell him all of the good things he does.  Tell him what you  find exciting and interesting about him.  If you don’t want to pay him a compliment about something you are “sure he knows”, tell him anyway.

SELF IMAGE

Hair – Millions of men all over the world use some kind of product, both medically backed and fad enforced, to battle hair loss.  Hair loss, not matter at what age, makes a man fee that they are on the fast track to aging.

Body – Men are just as body conscious as women, they are just better at hiding it  They can be afraid that they are hairy, smelly, pale, scrawny, flabby and the most dreaded fear of them all, they are afraid that they will not measure up when it comes to their private parts.

‘Cool’ – As  part of the fear of aging, men are afraid of “losing their cool They will do whatever it takes to maintain this part of their self-image, by any means necessary, hair transplants, fancy cars, and virility treatments.

Homophobia – This is a touchy subject and may seem awkward, but it is a very real fact that heterosexual men have a fear of being perceived  as too feminine. However he shows it, he is afraid of not being seen as s a man.

How to Help: Be supportive! Compliment your partner! Be specific! Encouragement  can go a long way to increasing your man’s security.

MORTALITY

His Father’s Death – Something that makes men aware of their own mortality is the loss of their father.  This changing of the guard can lead them to wonder if they are up to carrying the torch their father passed them.

Leaving His Mark – Men are concerned about what mark they will leave behind.  They want to be considered a good husband and partner.

How to Help: No one can do anything about mortality. We all face death and what he fears about it is unknown, unless he chooses to share it with you. Even if he doesn’t confide in you, being supportive and aware will go a long way to support him.

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