After enduring a breakup or a divorce, it’s only natural to feel a sense of sadness and loss. But when you’re in the midst of the heartbreak, it can be difficult to understand where the sadness is coming from. And it can be even more difficult to see a way to move past it.
Learn more about the loss and loneliness that you’re likely to experience after heartbreak. And find out why it’s so important to take time to grieve, to heal, and to move forward after heartbreak.
Accept the Complexity of the Loss
Once you’ve have disentangled your lives and parted ways, reminders of your past relationship probably remain all around you. Your sense of loss may be coming from seeing his side of the bed empty, or from the realization that she hasn’t called or texted in days.
But it’s possible the loss and sadness you’re experiencing might not really be about your ex. Whether you still have feelings for your ex or not, those feelings may be coming from the sense that you’ve failed in love. Allow yourself to examine and work through the complex layers of emotion you’re experiencing.
Give Yourself Time
No matter how unpleasant it might be, give yourself time to process what happened and what you’re going through. Grieve your loss. Remember that those feelings of grief are likely to be the most intense right after the breakup at the beginning of the process, when you’ll likely experience resentment, anger, and fear. Everyone needs time to go through a major loss. Once you’ve taken the time acknowledge and process those feelings, you’ll be in a much better position to move beyond them.
Don’t Keep It to Yourself
Ending a relationship can be humiliating and traumatic, regardless of the reasons for the breakup. You may be the type of person that typically reaches out to friends for support and sympathy. But the sense of defeat after a broken relationship might instead prompt you to retreat and to keep your darkest feelings to yourself.
Try to avoid keeping everything bottled up inside. Remember that you still have friends and family members who love you. Talking over the breakup with them can help you process your feelings, give you much-needed perspective and offer valuable insight into finding ways to move forward.
Reconnecting with the world around you can also help you work through loneliness, and reinforce the belief that you’re worthy of the best kind of love. Don’t give in to the pull of loneliness.
Move Forward with Hope
It might be difficult to see through the pain at first. But it’s important to understand that eventually, you will be able to move past the sadness and loss. You owe yourself some time to heal, but dwelling on negative feelings for more time than you need to is bound to just hurt you more.
Instead, try to gain a sense of hope and optimism as you focus on what lies ahead. Give yourself room to grow and blossom and change. Remember that while your life looks different since the relationship ended, you still have hopes, dreams and a future to look forward to.
Breakups are never easy. But they can serve as learning experiences. They can give you space to grow. And they can help you become a better version of yourself.