When Texting is the Best and Worst Idea


Women are known to be complex thinkers and men are the concrete “black and white” thinkers, so it definitely makes sense that the communication division is very much alive and well – especially when it comes to texting.

The last thing a women wants to do is come across as “clingy” or “needy;” however, what, and how she texts a new guy can make or break a budding relationship. With that in mind, here are three subtle suggestions when texting a new guy rather straight or gay:

Texting Tips

Tip #1 – Don’t text him first thing in the morning. Wait until at least noon, seriously.

When a guy starts his day, he’s in “warrior mode” and he’s off to conquer the world. In most cases, he does think about the new girl in his life – but only after he’s gotten his day started.

Sure, you want him to text you, but not out of obligation, so wait. Also, the last thing you want is a guy thinking you don’t have a life. You want to be the new mystery girl he’s trying to learn more about – not the new “clingy” girl who wants to make him responsible for her happiness.

Solution: Don’t text him first and respond when he does text.

Tip #2 – Don’t text asking about his day the minute he’s getting off work. 

First of all, guys needs to decompress and process their day before they can even talk about it – let alone text about it.  Secondly, many guys will think a text like that means the woman is annoyed because he got busy and didn’t text her earlier.

While women can justify their reasoning saying they’re just asking, “cause they care,” a guy believes it’s not as simple as that and that there’s always “something more,” which can look “needy” in his eyes.

Solution: Don’t text him about his day right away but let him rest before you text.

Tip #3 – Don’t text him a novella.

Guys look at texting as information gathering, while women use it as a form of communication. When a guy sees a text that is one long paragraph that he needs to scroll down to keep reading, he sees it as too much information.

He’ll eventually read through it, but don’t expect any immediate responses. Also, with too much information given, there’s no more “new mystery girl.” If you speak with someone French, you speak to them in French. If you want to text a guy, text like a guy – with simple one- or two-word monosyllabic answers.

Solution: Simple responses.  Keep the long paragraph writing for your secret diary journal with password lock.

Bottom Line on Texting a Guy

Let a new guy lead when it comes to texting, while still maintaining a confident, and not too eager, approach when responding to his texts. And just because he sends a text, that doesn’t mean you have to drop everything to respond. Keep the mystery going. Believe me, sometimes less is more!

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  1. Interestingly, the suggestions cater to behavioral tendencies observed in certain social dynamics, but it’s crucial to remember that human behavior is vastly individualized. This article would benefit from a more inclusive and flexible perspective on communication.

  2. Oh, because nothing screams ‘modern romance’ like playing a game of ‘Who Texts Last.’ 🙄 Seriously, people should communicate openly instead of playing these mind games. It’s the 21st century – we can handle a text message!

  3. Reading this felt like diving into a 1950s dating manual. ‘Don’t text in the morning, because he’s in warrior mode’? Give me a break. If he can’t handle a good morning text, how is he going to handle life’s real challenges?

  4. Wow, the stereotypes in this article are preposterous. Reducing men and women to such simplistic labels does nothing but perpetuate outdated gender roles. Surely, we can do better in the 21st century.

  5. While there might be some merit to tailoring communication styles, this advice is incredibly reductive. People should focus on being authentic rather than adhering to arbitrary rules. The nuance and complexity of human relationships can’t be summed up in a few oversimplified tips.


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